Assault with a weapon, Canadian-style

The Edmonton Sun

A four-month-old baby was the victim of a bizarre crime Friday night when a man allegedly hit him with his baby bottle outside a southside liquor store. [...] the man walked up to the baby and his mom outside the Liquor Depot near 110 Street and 51 Avenue and took the bottle. He then allegedly hit the child on the nose with the bottle's nipple and later flicked him on the face with his finger, police said. "The baby wasn't harmed," said police spokesman Patrycia Chalupczynska. "Afterwards, it had a red mark on its forehead. It doesn't appear that the child went to hospital." Police, though, came on the scene after the mom started screaming for help. Before they arrived, people nearby held onto the suspect. Cops have now charged a man as a result with assault and, due to the use of the baby bottle, assault with a weapon.

Obviously an age-related hate crime. Lock him up and throw away the key.

On the other hand, I've probably wanted to... okay maybe... once or twice. Especially on airplanes.

What's that smell?

Professional douchebag Gordon Ramsay illustrates the danger of the mindset (prominent here in paternalistic Britain) that we can and should legislate for everything:

Ramsay orders seasonal-only menu

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay says British restaurants should be fined if they serve fruit and vegetables which are not in season. He told the BBC that fruit and vegetables should be locally-sourced and only on menus when in season. Mr Ramsay said he had already spoken to Prime Minister Gordon Brown about outlawing out-of-season produce.

"There should be stringent laws, licensing laws, to make sure produce is only used in season and season only," he said.

Listen fella, you're entitled to your opinions and preferences; and since you own several restaurants, go ahead and run those any way you like. However, if I have a craving for asparagus (Tee hee! Funny smell!) in December, that should be between me and the chef, right?

By Ramsay's rationale, importing any food should be illegal. Whee! I for one look forward to the day when we return to dining exclusively on world-renowned British cuisine! Mushy peas are always in season, right?