Met police vow to arrest Dr. Evil

The British police are at it again, grandstanding for the Hello magazine readership. When my neighbour's shop was broken into, they didn't bother to investigate or, um, show up. But here's what happens when people supposedly spit at one another on television:

Police quiz [Big Brother] 'spit' housemate

Police have interviewed Dennis McHugh, the contestant ejected from Channel 4's Big Brother show for allegedly spitting in the face of a fellow housemate.

So, the police are conducting an investigation, eh?

Police will also speak to Mohamed Mohamed, at whom Dennis allegedly spat, "as and when he leaves the house".

Excuse me? If they're serious about this, why wouldn't they go speak to the alleged victim, say, now? I mean, if the police want to talk to someone, don't they go to that person's home, or workplace or whatever, and speak to them right away? Why wouldn't they do that, in this case? Because the alleged victim is sequestered inside the Big Brother house? On a frigging 'reality' show?

"Goodness, we can't go in there," I imagine P.C. Plod saying to himself, "the contestants aren't allowed to have any contact with the outside world!"

The police are grandstanding for the benefit of the television audience (good P.R.) but don't want to ruin their telly program (bad P.R.). Unbelievable.

Well, not actually unbelievable, because they've done things like this before: When the entertainment-loving public get excited about celebrity shenanigans, the British police are all over it.

Remember Kate Moss's troubles, after photos allegedly showed her taking cocaine? The police made a big performance of that one, too. The problem was, they had no actual evidence that she had been taking an illegal drug (or in any case, which illegal drug). The stuff in the photos could have been anything, as far as reasonable standards of proof are concerned.

Nonetheless, the police had to make a big show of disciplining a wayward celebrity. The police Commissioner, Sir Ian Blair, made such a public fool of himself (yet again) that the Director of Public Prosecutions was bewildered: "If he is accurately quoted he appears to have completely misunderstood the law."

At the time, it seemed pretty obvious to me that the police didn't have a case against Kate Moss. It's pretty shocking that the police commissioner couldn't figure it out. The likely truth is that he knew it was nonsense, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to showboat:

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair, who has pledged to tackle middle-class users of cocaine, had said the decision on whether to charge Moss would take into account her effect on "impressionable young people".

You see? A crime is more serious when committed by a celebrity. Perhaps we should have special laws for them so that they can be prosecuted, without proper evidence, for the sake of "impressionable young people".

What a crock of poo.

It would be nice if Commissioner Sir Ian Blair and the British police would do their frigging jobs, make some token effort to solve real-life crimes (such as burglaries at shops), and stop the posturing over celebrities and pointless television non-events.


[ P.S. Big Brother is still the crappiest television show in history, and the British public should make a serious effort to develop some taste. I've seen classier things circling the toilet bowl. The police should get serious and arrest the producers for contributing to the decline of civilization. ]

David Davis: right on, brother

I think I might have to go campaigning for the shadow home secretary. Here's an opinion piece in the Torygraph about the issues in question:

Twenty years ago you would also have been regarded as barmy if you had said innocent people would have their DNA held on a database for criminals; or that there would be one CCTV camera for every 14 people; or that children would be fingerprinted and their records held, as though they were all potential victims of abuse; or that it would be unlawful to stage a silent, one-person protest within one kilometre of the Palace of Westminster without permission from the police; or that trials would be held without juries; or that microchips would be placed in our dustbins; or that there would be 266 separate provisions granting power to enter homes without permission, a symptom of the expanding role of the state in the lives of citizens.

This Labour government has never met a thought or behaviour it didn't want to regulate, outlaw, or mandate.

Well, it's been a while since I've won an award...

Here's something nice. My partitioning software, Partition Logic (based on my operating system, Visopsys) has been chosen as one of PC World magazine's "The 100 Best Products of 2008":

"Each year, PC World chooses the 100 top technology products available to consumers. Some of the products are brand new, some have been on the market for years. What they have in common is attractive and efficient design, outstanding features and performance, solid usability and smart innovation".

OK, so mine is only number 96, but it's still an honour:

Our July issue will feature an extremely popular cover story, The 100 Best Products of 2008. (formerly the World Class Awards) PC World editors selected Partition Logic as one of the best products of 2008 ! This special issue sells very well on newsstand, (the issue gets a lot of media play), and it's well read by our readers (this year, editors will include reader's favorite hardware, software and services in a sidebar of the feature). Congratulations again on this important industry award!

I'll have to remember to buy a copy of that. :))