Corporate leadership and the giant sucking sound

By the way, more about that song: Air Canada commissioned it as its new theme song for its 'relaunch' three years ago.

I'm currently experiencing redundancy (a.k.a. layoff) for the first time, as a result of some corporate cost-cutting cleverness. They're closing our whole office, which is one of the most productive development centres in one of the fastest-growing business segments.

Sales of software are down, you see, but not for any obvious reason. A good executive might ask himself why. Is there some change in the economy? Perhaps we're not making the right kind of software? Perhaps the sales or marketing departments need to rethink something? Fire some executives? Fire some sales and marketing guys?

Solution: Fire the developers, 'cause they cost a lot (and of course, many more will quit, as being one of the remaining developers continues its downward spiral of sucking). The point is, it'll help the bottom line, and the stock price next quarter, and that's what really matters according to our CEO in a recent conference call. So what happens in a year or two, when the software product falls behind the competition, because the company has lost its best and most experienced developers? What happens when sales start to drop for a good reason? Gun. Foot. Open fire. Trust me, by then Mr. CEO will already have bailed out with the help of his golden parachute.

Segue back to Air Canada, Celine Dion, and the sound of sucking. Imagine you're the CEO, and other airlines are eating your lunch. Canadians nickname you 'MapleFlot' because your service stinks. Other airlines are cheaper and better, and customers love them. Your airline has just managed to scrape itself out of bankruptcy by cost-cutting staff salaries, among other things. So what do you do next? Obviously you repaint your planes and pay Celine Dion millions of dollars ($20 million, I heard) to sing for a marketing campaign. For added impact, force the passengers to watch the video when they're on the plane. This is bound to help.

Even sporting lipstick, it's still a pig.

I didn't go to business school, but why not try making a better product?

Bad bad religion

A new album on the way! "New Maps Of Hell". Wikipedia has the poop. The band's myspace page has a couple of new tracks to listen to. I do like "Honest Goodbye" pretty well.

I don't like your band very much

My workmate passed on this comment (edited a bit) from the MySpace page of "the bird and the bee":

I had to painfully sit through your set in Sacramento to see Lily & I liken it to having a f[]cking root canal in every manner. I couldn't leave & was forced to hear your repetitive, mind numbing, lame-ass background music the sort you have to listen to while being at the dentist for hours. Or whilst waiting in an airport for your lost luggage. By the Time Lily got on stage she was hammered; I'd be a f[]cking raging alcoholic too if I had to listen to that poo every f[]cking night. Stop touring & release your sh[]t straight to Musak for the elevator circuit or perhaps as background torture noise for prisoners. I mean really, your singer is lovely (not the two back-up hags) and the musicians could play well, it's just the material was dreadful and you have absolutely no stage presence. I don't think the guys looked up or smiled once. It seemed painful for them as well. How you got billed with a young, cute, bubbly, upbeat pop-ska-hop act is beyond me when you should be kicking off Bingo at Indian casinos or maybe a jazz-cruise ship tour. There you go! People can't leave there either unless they want to jump off the f[]cking boat!

Well at least, those are some constructive suggestions.

Two more SHMF gigs in October

The Oh! bar in Camden was fun, a nice way for us to get our feet wet with our new drummer James (I'll post when the photos are up). Now we're rehearsing to really put on a show. Which brings me to:

19th Oct 2006 20:00
She Hit Me First + Lich + The Fondas £6
The Loaded Dog - 485 Leytonstone High Rd, London, E11 4PG

26th Oct 2006 22:30
She Hit Me First + TBD £5
Up All Night @ The Miller - 96 Snowsfields Rd, London, SE1 3SS (near London Bridge)

http://shehitmefirst.com
http://myspace.com/shehitmefirst

SHMF at the Oh! Bar

Camden (London), Wednesday 20th, 8ish. Free show, so bring your friends. Details.

SHMF in new drummer scandal

I'm pleased to announce that our band, "She Hit Me First" finally has a (long-awaited and sorely needed) new drummer. And he's really really good, so maybe he was worth waiting for.

James Millar, welcome to the band.

He's written a little blog entry on our MySpace page to introduce himself.